Independence Day in Ester

It's that time of year again! The Ester Fourth of July Parade will start at noon (ish) in the village square, pass the Judicial Review Booth (don't forget your judicial discernment enhancements, a.k.a. "bribes") in a semi-orderly and goofy fashion (after the veritable flock of youthfully driven and wildly decorated bicycles zooms past the judges at high speed), take a breather to impress the judges suitably, march (or jog or dance or stroll or drive or jig) down our illustrious and tree-lined Main Street, take a left (of course) onto Village Road, saunter past the Ida Lane Gazebo and the Ester Post Office, take another left onto the Old Nenana Highway, and trudge in the hot sun or rainy fog or clouds of mosquitoes or whathaveyou to the Ester Community Park, where said parade participants will turn left for a Final Time, there to participate in an Excellent Picnic & Party put on by the Ester Community Association, and receive Fabulous Prizes Recycled from Years (and Dumpsters) Past!

There will be GAMES and QUANTITIES OF WATER (most if it NOT in a glass but all over you if you don't move fast enough) and LOTS OF FOOD (if you bring donations or picnics) and loads of your neighbors and friends and dogs and kids and FUN FUN FUN!

If you would like to be one of the gaily-dressed and irreverent Paraders Extraordinaire, show up in the village of Ester at 11 am and heed the Directions of the Parade Director, who shall be recognizable by A Booming Voice (or maybe a loudspeaker or just a pointy finger) and (probably) A Silly Hat. Be Prepared to Sign In (this is so the judges and the Ester Republic newspaper publisher can tell who you are later, after all the notes and whatnot have been obscured by chocolate, water, beer, ice cream, and barbecue sauce), and award said aforementioned FABULOUS PRIZES.

Jest don't ferget that bribagery. And Food for the Picnic (bring extra to support the hungry paraders around you). And donations for the Pig Purchase, and to help out the Ester Community Association, which puts on this silliness every year.

As per usual, Do Not Expect Political Correctness. We like our parades Irreverent, Political, Punny, not necessarily Mature, and Not Too Long. Also Loud (the Ester Fire Department will be there, and the Red Hackle Bagpipe Band is coming again, YAY!). And with LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS. (Bring a sign.)

If you would like to be a Designated Spectator, be sure to Cheer and Clap a lot, because most of the parade participants are amateurs, and need encouragement. It takes a lot of chutzpah to make up a costume and a theme the night before and get all those drill team moves sorta down in the 24 hours before the parade. Spectators are also encouraged to bring Food, Beverages, and dogs and kids and their Uncle Ned.