Christmas lights on the Internet

Courtesy Ken and Rebecca-Ellen Woods, everyone out there in Internet-land is invited to play with their Christmas lights via the Internet. I am re-posting that invitation here:

As part of our Christmas tradition, Rebecca-Ellen and I have onceagain connected our Christmas lights to the internet. This year we'rein a new house and have a new baby!

http://christmasinfairbanks.com

This project started in 2010, when we connected our Christmas treelights to the internet and allowed visitors from around the world toturn the lights on and off.

The lights moved outside in 2011, as it was quite annoying to have thelights blink on and off ALL THE TIME inside the house.

The 2012 season offered more lights, but Christmas 2013 brought pressattention. We received over 6.5 million visitors after beinginterviewed by NPR.

We moved into a new house in February 2014. And Kenny and I welcomedour son, Axel, to the world in July. You'll likely see all three of uscoming and going as you turn the lights on and off! You're not goingto break anything by messing with them, so don't be shy.

There might be some delay depending on the number of current userstrying to view the lights. The site works best with Chrome, Firefox,and Safari (it's operational with Internet Explorer, but it takes awhile for the site to load because IE is an awful web browser).

Feel free to send this far and wide. Post on Facebook, twitter, writeit in your Christmas card, whatever you wish. The site will remainactive until mid-January 2015.

Have fun, and a merry solstice to all!

Independence Day in Ester

It's that time of year again! The Ester Fourth of July Parade will start at noon (ish) in the village square, pass the Judicial Review Booth (don't forget your judicial discernment enhancements, a.k.a. "bribes") in a semi-orderly and goofy fashion (after the veritable flock of youthfully driven and wildly decorated bicycles zooms past the judges at high speed), take a breather to impress the judges suitably, march (or jog or dance or stroll or drive or jig) down our illustrious and tree-lined Main Street, take a left (of course) onto Village Road, saunter past the Ida Lane Gazebo and the Ester Post Office, take another left onto the Old Nenana Highway, and trudge in the hot sun or rainy fog or clouds of mosquitoes or whathaveyou to the Ester Community Park, where said parade participants will turn left for a Final Time, there to participate in an Excellent Picnic & Party put on by the Ester Community Association, and receive Fabulous Prizes Recycled from Years (and Dumpsters) Past!

There will be GAMES and QUANTITIES OF WATER (most if it NOT in a glass but all over you if you don't move fast enough) and LOTS OF FOOD (if you bring donations or picnics) and loads of your neighbors and friends and dogs and kids and FUN FUN FUN!

If you would like to be one of the gaily-dressed and irreverent Paraders Extraordinaire, show up in the village of Ester at 11 am and heed the Directions of the Parade Director, who shall be recognizable by A Booming Voice (or maybe a loudspeaker or just a pointy finger) and (probably) A Silly Hat. Be Prepared to Sign In (this is so the judges and the Ester Republic newspaper publisher can tell who you are later, after all the notes and whatnot have been obscured by chocolate, water, beer, ice cream, and barbecue sauce), and award said aforementioned FABULOUS PRIZES.

Jest don't ferget that bribagery. And Food for the Picnic (bring extra to support the hungry paraders around you). And donations for the Pig Purchase, and to help out the Ester Community Association, which puts on this silliness every year.

As per usual, Do Not Expect Political Correctness. We like our parades Irreverent, Political, Punny, not necessarily Mature, and Not Too Long. Also Loud (the Ester Fire Department will be there, and the Red Hackle Bagpipe Band is coming again, YAY!). And with LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS. (Bring a sign.)

If you would like to be a Designated Spectator, be sure to Cheer and Clap a lot, because most of the parade participants are amateurs, and need encouragement. It takes a lot of chutzpah to make up a costume and a theme the night before and get all those drill team moves sorta down in the 24 hours before the parade. Spectators are also encouraged to bring Food, Beverages, and dogs and kids and their Uncle Ned.

Skating down the Parks

Joe Geiss took a video of some firefighter zipping down the Old Nenana and onto the Parks on skates. Yesterday, Katrina and another firefighter were skating on the Old Nenana--the highways had a nice thick glaze of ice for a while, but now there's gravel on it. The ice rink, on the other hand, is pretty well liquid. We went skating in our little Green Box on Wheels the moment we got out of our driveway, kiboshing any plans to head to the university (which was closed, at any rate). Depending on what happens overnight, I may or may not go in to campus tomorrow. Lots of cars off the road, schools closed, etc. First time I can EVER recall school being closed because it was too warm....

At some point I need to get myself a pair of skates (like, when it freezes up again).

Grantwriting workshop

This week I've been taking a five-day intensive workshop on grantwriting for the John Trigg Ester Library from the Alaska Funding Exchange, and it has been well worth it. Man, what a lot of information. We're covering how to write letters of inquiry, grant proposals, budgeting, timelines, grants management, finding funders, various resources relating to grants and grantwriting.

We've already gotten one grant,the state appropriation, and this course is going to be very helpful for managing it. This sort of thing has always seemed so, I don't know, obtuse, and now it actually it seems if not fun, certainly satisfying and interesting. The information I've learned will be good for the Republic, good for the Ester Community Association, good for Ester at large, potentially. One particularly exciting thing that I've learned about is the Alaska Community Foundation.

The publishing biz

Publishing is, frankly, a pain in the ass. I mean, it's great to bring out all the wonderful works that would otherwise never see the light of day (because they're too off-beat, weird, Alaskan, or poetic), and I just LOVE doing book designs, but most of the publishing business consists of my two least favorite things to do (and this includes changing the catbox, folks): data entry and marketing.

Y'see, publishing isn't just about bringing the creative mind to print: it's about getting the public to actually read those delightful books, which means getting the public to buy them, which means getting the books in their hands, which means getting the books in the bookstores, which, inevitably, means getting it into wholesalers' hands, which means a whole lot of trouble.

And that's just marketing: advertising, sell sheets, catalogs, booths at conferences and markets and bazaars, enticing descriptions sent to booksellers, and so forth.

Then there's all that data tracking: how much of which sold for what to whom and when at what discount. How much postage, how much my cost/profit/loss was, how much royalty to pay, plus the office management stuff and associated bottle washing, counting, and related bottle overhead costs. And the like.

When a new book comes out, it is immensely satisfying to know that a gem like Marjorie Kowalski Cole's collection of poetry has finally gotten Out There, or that Jamie Smith's cartoons will be Preserved for Posterity in collected form, or that Neil Davis' careful research into the American health care system can be shared with people who need to know how to navigate the misanthropic mine field that we call insurance. I LOVE bringing books like these into the world.

But god, I HATE selling them.

Cats and cancer

Last year, our cat Archie developed a fatal cancer, and we had to have a vet come out to give him a lethal injection. We buried him in the garden and this year grew huge bunches of catnip over his grave. Now our big rangy ditz of a feline, Hexer, also has cancer, this time of the intestine--and quite probably throughout his lymphatic system. It's fatal also, and so we will be putting him down later this week too. Not only am I greatly upset by this (and Hans is too), I am afraid for our other cats and for ourselves--I suspect that we may have a radon problem.

This really sucks.

TTY scam: Yorkies for Sale

Or perhaps it's English bulldogs, or terriers to give away. Sound familiar? It should: it's exactly the same scam as that run by those arseholes sending e-mails requesting ad placement. Same phrasing, and a curiously insistent person wanting to know when, exactly, the credit card will be run, and can it be run today, right now, in fact? I received one of these calls a couple of weeks ago, and it was so suspicious that the only thing I could think of was that the person on the TTY machine (also known as a TDD) had stolen somebody else's card. They gave me a name and residence address (Juneau, and I looked it up on Google--it appeared to be a local church). Took 45 minutes to get exactly nowhere.

Then Leah got another call yesterday. What a waste of time!

The scam may not be in the ad placement, but in the dog end (so to speak). Free or cheap dogs, but shipping that costs a lot and somehow the dogs never arrive.

I get requests for ads all the time, usually by e-mail, that reveal that the person placing them has no real interest in the periodical in which they are to be placed and no conception of English grammar. There are often mistakes in spelling and grammar, but not the kind a native speaker of English would make. They also clearly know nothing of the periodical they have contacted (for example, how often the Republic comes out!) The same is true of this new TTY version of the scam.

I'm not sure if it's a hearing shyster taking advantage of the TTY phone, a deaf shyster abusing a TTY phone, or a person posing as a TTY operator but who is in fact a scam artist. No matter the case, newspapers and magazines should watch out.

Ukulele madness: Carl Ostergren's banjolele

On January 6, I received a belated inheritance: my grandfather's banjo ukulele. Chip Funk, family friend and luthier, had helped my mother clean out my grandparents' house after my grandmother died. Grandpa had died several years before that, but in a closet in the livingroom was stashed an old canvas case containing a banjo uke. My grandfather, I discovered when I talked with my mom about this delightful instrument, had been in minstrel shows (in blackface) back in the thirties, maybe the twenties, too. He used to ride a motorcycle around New England with his banjolele strapped to his back, playing music with friends.

I didn't know what a banjolele was until this summer, when Gretchen Kerndt brought hers out to the Golden Eagle to jam with Lost Dog on the porch. This one has the original skin drum on it, signed by my grandfather's friends (and his brother Harold, too).



It sounds a lot like a banjo, only not quite so twangy. It's a little smaller than a tenor banjo, and the strings are nylon. Buck thinks it's a Sears Silvertone, but it's hard to tell—no brand name on it anywhere. The tailpiece is a replacement for the original. It has a nice sound. More reasons to practice!

So this makes now four ukuleles: my Lanikai baritone, the Lanikai soprano, my Kala mangowood cutaway baritone with pickup, and my mystery banjo uke. I've been taking lessons with Russell Copelin (had my third lesson last Monday); that's been helping, but I REALLY need to practice every day. I slacked off a bit this week.

I've been showing off my banjolele to the Banana Girls and various local musicians. Last night Robin Dale Ford, Pat Fitzgerald, Richard Fineberg, Andy from on Pebble Road, Hans, and a couple of other people came to the Eagle to jam. I brought ukes and played a bit, but definitely could not keep up. It was lots of fun, though. Hans made a case for the banjolele, a temporary one of foam, duct tape, ribbons, and a bungie cord, but he's making a sturdy wooden one of cedar for it.

Battery technology and life forms

Here's an interesting little piece in the Economist all about a biological battery based on the biology of electric eels and other electricity-producing animals:

David LaVan of the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Maryland and his colleagues wanted to study the operation of living cell membranes and their proteins. They began by experimenting on artificial “protocells”. These, like real cells, were surrounded by membranes made of fatty molecules. Proteins “floating” in the membranes would let only certain ions pass. Using this system, the researchers realised that they might be able to copy the eel’s electricity-generation mechanism.

Earlier this year, there was a report in Chemistry World about using viruses to create electrodes:

Angela Belcher and colleagues from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in the US, however, have found that electrodes based on viruses are a feasible alternative. They have manipulated the genes of the simple 'M13' virus so that it is equipped with certain short polymers known as peptides. On one end of the virus the peptides can bind with carbon nanotubes, while on the rest of the virus the peptides can help instigate the growth of amorphous iron phosphate (a-FePO4). Although a-FePO4 is not usually a good conductor, the nanotubes work together to enhance conductivity across the entire virus.

Not your tommyknocker, but interesting.

Luke vs. Tammie?

Hoo, boy. The Fairbanks North Star Borough voters strike again. It's a runoff between Tammie Wilson and Luke Hopkins.

Yet another reason to institute IRV or something similar.

An entertaining exercise in futility

You know what they say: when a squirrel in Alaska is shot or relocated, a squirrel in New Mexico moves two inches northward. I discovered this blog today (via Kodiak Konfidential): The Cliffside Road Squirrel Relocation Project. Red squirrel #26 has been moved to Near Island. Note also The Great Alaskan Red Squirrel Cam.

A bit of silliness from my day job

Here's some annual craziness: Flying Axes: the Farthest North Forest Sports Festival, sponsored by the UAF Resource Management Society and the School of Natural Resources & Agricultural Sciences. The video is from the 11th annual fest, last year. This year's is tomorrow, October 3, at the Fairbanks Experiment Farm (the birling happens at Ballaine Lake later in the afternoon).



And here's a story about it from the News-Miner. My favorite line: "Plaid shirts are not required." Good warm wool felt and/or other suitable lumberjack wear is recommended, however.

A worthwhile proposal

Nadine Winters introduced this ordinance on the 20th of August. It would provide for a voluntary program by retailers (of large size) in the borough to charge a small amount for "disposable" plastic bags which would then be used to support borough recycling programs. Just in case you didn't know, those plastic shopping bags are the source of a serious and deadly type of pollution/litter. Plastic refuse of all types is a big big problem these days--ever hear of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? Los Angeles has enacted a ban on the bags which will take effect in 2010. Cities around the world--entire provinces and countries, even--are banning or penalizing the use of disposable bags.

The Fairbanks North Star Borough should follow through with this mild ordinance. It's a step in the right direction, and, while voluntary, will raise money to reduce litter and borough landfill expenses. PUblic commentary (and I think the vote on it) is on September 10. Contact the borough assembly to support it!

ORDINANCE NO. 2009 - 40

AN ORDINANCE AMENDING TITLE 8 OF THE FNSB CODE OF ORDINANCES TO ESTABLISH A VOLUNTARY PROGRAM DESIGNED TO REDUCE THE USE OF PLASTIC BAGS, IMPOSE A FEE FOR CERTAIN PLASTIC BAGS PROVIDED TO CUSTOMERS BY LARGE RETAILERS AND ESTABLISH A LOCAL RECYCLING PROGRAM SPECIAL REVENUE FUND

WHEREAS, Fairbanks North Star Borough voters approved in 1993 a policy to encourage recycling, reuse and reduction of solid wastes generated in the Borough; and

WHEREAS, Americans use over 14 billion plastic bags a year; and

WHEREAS, Plastic bags do not biodegrade in landfills and reducing their use would provide available space at the landfill; and

WHEREAS; Collection and disposal have been estimated in some municipalities to cost up to 17 cents per plastic bag; and

WHEREAS, the Borough expends over $30,000 annually in litter pickup efforts, a third of which is estimated to be plastic bags; and

WHEREAS, regulation that discourages and decreases the use of disposable plastic bags in the Borough is in the best interests of the Borough; and

WHEREAS, the successful reduction of the number of disposable plastic bags entering the Borough’s solid waste stream, along with the integration of reusable bags and the increase in recycling of plastic bags, will help the Borough achieve the policy goal approved by voters.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT ORDAINED BY THE FAIRBANKS NORTH STAR BOROUGH ASSEMBLY;

Section 1. This ordinance is of a general and permanent nature and shall be codified.

Section 2. Chapter 8.12 of the FNSB Code of Ordinances is amended to add the following chapters:

8.12.037 Voluntary Program for Participating Retailers

A. Sellers using disposable plastic bags, that fall outside the definition of retail sellers, may on a voluntary basis, charge the disposable plastic bag fee imposed in this chapter. If the seller chooses to participate then the seller is subject to the requirements of this chapter.

B. Sellers of goods using disposable plastic bags who choose not to participate in charging the disposable plastic bag fee may also participate in the program by:

1. Making available recycling bins/canisters for plastic shopping bags.
2. Developing messages placed in highly visible areas that encourages and reminds shoppers to use reusable bags.
3. Making reusable bags available at a reasonable price.

8.12.038 Disposable plastic Bag Fee

A. Effective January 1, 2010, all retail sellers, as defined in this chapter, shall charge and collect a five cent ($0.05) fee for each disposable plastic bag provided to customers. The amount of the fee shall be stated separately on a sales receipt, invoice, or other record of sale. It shall be a violation of this section for any store subject to the requirements of this section to pay or otherwise reimburse a customer for any portion of this fee.

B. The retail store shall keep a record of the number of disposable plastic bags the retail seller has purchased, been provided with, or otherwise acquired, and a record of the amount paid for disposable bags subject to this section that are provided to, or sold to, retail consumers on a monthly basis.

C. The purpose of the fee established in this chapter is to regulate the generation of waste from disposable plastic bags by creating an economic incentive for customers to use reusable shopping bags.

D. On a monthly basis and as otherwise may be required by the Chief Financial Officer, all retail sellers required to collect the disposable plastic bag fee shall report and remit the total fees due to the Borough. Payments and receipts shall be reported on forms prescribed by the Borough’s Chief Financial Officer. The Chief Financial Officer is authorized to adopt rules for the administration, payment, collection and enforcement of the fee imposed in this chapter.

E. If a report or payment of any amounts due under this section are not received by the Chief Financial Officer on or before the due date, the Chief Financial Officer shall add a penalty calculated in the same manner as the penalty imposed under FNSB 3.58.090 as it now exists or as it may be amended except that it shall be calculated on the amount of fees due. Nothing in this subsection shall be construed to deem any fees required under this chapter to be a tax.

8.12.039 Local recycling program special revenue fund

The local recycling program special revenue fund is hereby established. All funds received from the payment of the plastic bag fee shall be deposited into the local recycling program special revenue fund. Money in this account may be appropriated only to support Borough recycling efforts. Authorized expenditures from this fund, which may be expended by the Borough Mayor without further appropriation, are amounts used to support the voluntary program to reduce the use of disposable plastic bags and funds to make available to the public, for a reduced fee or free-of-charge, reusable shopping bags to the extent the Mayor determines that such programs will significantly reduce the costs associated with the recycling and disposal of plastic bags.

Section 3. Section 8.12. 021 Definitions is amended to add the following definitions (which shall be added by the clerk in alphabetical order).

“Retail seller” means any person or entity engaged in the business of offering and/or selling goods directly to a customer and that has annual gross sales of one million dollars or more in the Fairbanks North Star Borough.

“Disposable plastic bag” means a bag made of plastic to carry customer purchases from a store. It does not include: a compostable plastic bag; a bag used only to contain ice; bags used by customers inside stores to package bulk items such as fruit, vegetables, nuts, candy or small hardware items; bags used to contain or wrap frozen foods, meat or fish or flowers, or other items where dampness may be a problem; bags used to protect prepared foods or bakery goods; bags provided by pharmacists to contain prescription drugs; newspaper bags, door-hanger bags, laundry-dry cleaning bags, or bags sold in packages containing multiple bags intended for use as garbage, pet waste, or yard waste bags.

“Chief Financial Officer” means the Finance Director or any officer, agent or employee of the Borough designated to act on the Chief Financial Officer’s behalf.

Section 4. Effective Date. This ordinance shall be effective at 5:00 p.m. of the first Borough business day following its adoption.

Publication prognostication

Right. So, assuming my various authors haven't given up on their extremely tardy publisher, the list of forthcoming books from the Ester Republic Press stands as follows:

• Inside, Outside, Morningside, a collection of poems by Marjorie Kowalski Cole;

• Freebird, the collected comic strip by Layla Lawlor;

• Wings of Fire (tentative title), a collection of poems on birds, by Frank Keim (possibly illustrated);

• a collection of poems by Ann Chandonnet;

• a cultural history of Fairbanks revolving around the Nenana Raft Classic, by Ross Coen (manuscript pending);

• a collection of history columns by Ross Coen (possibly; manuscript pending);

• Letters from Siberia, a collection of letters home from a then-young geologist in Soviet Russia sent to work in the area of the Siberian gulags (this will depend on receipt of the complete manuscript from David Stone).

An interesting batch.

That's MY mom

My mother, the publisher, recently interviewed on 49 Writers.

History of Alaska music

Suzanne Summerville just sent me a link to her website, AlaskaMusic.net; rather an interesting site. The actual name of the page is North to Future: Musical reflections on Alaska's history. There are lists of songs that pertain to Alaska, some lyrics and recordings, a chronology of events in Alaska from the 16th century through 2008, a page on the Alaska Flag Song, a couple of lesson plans, some samples of old sheet music, and a bunch more. She was inquiring about the Chena Ridge Militia's songbook, which I have a copy of for publishing purposes (from Niilo Koponen, a member of said militia).

Fruit, fruit, glorious fruit

Here's a really interesting little slideshow on fruit and seeds and the techniques plants use to spread their progeny. One of the fruits that interested me was the citron called Buddha's hand:



You learn something new every day!

Ester Fourth of July information

Every year this time, I get lots of people calling me wanting to know when the parade starts and how they sign up. I'm not sure why folks are under the misapprehension that I know what's going on, but they keep calling, and I am afraid that I have not clearly qualified well enough that I don't (or didn't) know what was going on.

So I found out. For those curious folks out at Fort Wainwright, Fairbanks, et cetera, here's the skinny:

The Fourth of July Parade: starts at noon. This is an irreverent, sometimes risqué, off-beat, and pretty impromptu event. DO NOT EXPECT: glorification of anything except a good time; child-safe language or G-rated requirements of any kind; tastefulness; respectfulness for ANY institution or individual. ON THE OTHER HAND: don't rule it out, either. Anything goes. We've had Revolutionary War soldiers, a Visqueen statue of liberty, leather-and-whip wielding fishnetted literati, giant puppets, men in drag and mops, dogs in costume, pigs in porkmobiles, fake politicians with real bribes, real politicians with fake bribes, dance troupes, couch potatoes, marching bands, gaggles of kids, horses, extremely loud firetrucks, etc. You're going to get a huge range if you come to watch our parade. It is never a serious or somber event, although the lampoons may be pointed at serious issues.

Parade check-in time: 11 am. Sign in up by Hartung Hall to get a paper plate with your number. Be prepared to give your name and the name of your character, float, or whathaveyou. This is so that once the judges have been properly bribed and made up the awards, they can identify you down at the park and present the award. Also, so the publisher of the local paper can list you and your award in the next edition of The Ester Republic!

Suggested bribes: Ester parade judges, usually drafted the night before, are eager and willing to accept bribes of all sorts. Cash is always useful, but it's a little, well, crass, so it is not often provided (and it's a little embarrassing when it is). Fine beverages, power tools, and inventively appropriate widgets or other items are the rule. (Well, I'm not actually sure that power tools have ever been used for bribes, but I've seen everything from root beer floats to books to radishes to poetry recitals by short pirates—not your typical bribery.) NOTE: one perennial award is the Best Bribe (sometimes also the Worst Bribe) award. Another coveted award that has been given several times is the Golden Banana Award. The other prizes vary hugely from year to year, and are made up on the fly.

Picnic at the park after the parade. This is a fundraiser for the Ester Community Association. It's our biggest fundraiser all year, and helps the ECA maintain the park and the community hall, pay the heating and electric bills (not cheap these days), buy goodies to feed people when they come to work parties or Cleanup Day, and so on. It is a potluck. We ask that you don't just help yourself to the food without donating something to the meal (and chips or dip don't count--please bring an actual dish of food) and/or to the ECA. The ECA sets up a table every year with a big sign and people man it to take donations; please contribute! That nice soccer field takes a lot of work and moola to keep up.

Why the post office has such a miserable reputation

With apologies to the many postal workers I know who do a great job, today I encountered a frustrating example of idiocy in the post office. Three returned copies of Agroborealis, addressed to people in Cuba, bore this stamped notice:

"Return to sender for correction. Country name must be in English on last line of address and not abbreviated."

Hmm. So "Cuba" in Spanish, on the last line of the address, must be written in English, like this: "Cuba." Right. The way it was actually written. And apparently it can't be abbreviated as "Cuba." It's got to be "Republic of Cuba."

Like they can't tell "Cuba" from some other country? Sheesh. They certainly seem to be able to tell that "China" means "People's Republic of China" with no trouble, judging from the lack of returns from Asia. Maybe Cuba's a special case, providing particular literary challenges to the foreign-mail sorting machines and/or workers.

Thus confirming my suspicion that the people handling foreign-bound mail can't read, or at least, not very well.

What you can get me if you want to give me a present

I discovered this delightful website today, and was immediately entranced. Dandelion! Fire from Heaven! In the Library! Talk about cool.

One of the creepiest books I've ever read is Das Parfum, by Patrick Süskind. I read the English translation. I have not seen the movie. The book was so good, and so very scary, that I don't think I want to see the movie.