The Publisher's Picks 2009

Wowsa. That was one hell of a party. The bands were GREAT. There was enough food, and everyone seemed to have a good time. There were HUNDREDS of people. The Publisher's Picks went very rapidly, because only a few people were on hand to receive their awards, but here's the rundown:

• Satire: this award went to "Ester Thought Posse Report," to the Ester Thought Posse Company, Dr. Bhagat, Deepa Bhagat, and Soo Ichy, who were foiled in their attempts to make Ester a clean-thinking environment.

• Review: runner-up in this category went to Gabriel Hill, for "Hot Off the Griddle", a review of the Easton Stagger Philips CD, One for the Ditch. Gabe, after listening to the album, believes the world is gonna be alright.

The Publisher's Pick for Review went to David A. James for his review, "Shwing!” of the book, A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis. He figured it was time to review a book about dicks, and said so.

• Letter to the Editor: this was a tie between two letters by the same author, Eric Forrer, an observer of human endeavor, for “Six-Pack Punctuation” & "Stupid Watery Ideas", on the value of substance and eduction in politics and the folly of water sports, respectively.

There was a dishonorable mention in this category again this year, for “Trying for Another Dishonorable Mention”, a short insult-filled diatribe railing against the paper, by W.J. Stringer, subscriber (also known as His Very Fine Excellency, William the First, Emperor), whose post in government has gone to his head.

• Poesy: this was awarded for “Before the Riot,” a free-verse poem by Shanna Karella, who longs for spring.

• Travel Writing: went to “Ticolandia,” about a journey to Costa Rica, by Dan Darrow, whose house is full of monkeys.

• Wildlife Photograph: this was awarded for “the Bear-tender,” a cover photo taken by CP McRoy, Intrepid Wildlife Photographer, who kept safely on the other side of the window.

• Portrait: this was awarded for “Joe Geiss, EHL player,” a cover photo capturing the essence of Interior masculinity in the wintertime, taken by Monique Musick, another intrepid photographer.

• Sports Writing: this went to “Fairbanks Spring Hysteria,”, a story on the origins of the Great Tanana Raft Classic, written by Admiral Merritt Helfferich and Commodore George Cresswell, instigators of inspired lunacy.

• Cartoon: this, as always, was a tough category. The first runner-up was for “Bail-Out,” an editorial cartoon by Jamie Smith, economic prognosticator.

The Publisher's Pick in this category was "Tom DeLong: Party Crasher,” an editorial cartoon by Dan Darrow, who was rooting for the underdog.

• Column: this award was given for “Dose of Reality,” a journey through the Byzantine world of medical finance, by Neil Davis, who is slogging through the morass for the rest of us.

• Most Delicious: this went to “Greek New Year,” recipes by Mary Wagner, who watches Dr. Zhivago every New Year's Eve.

• Most Independent: this was awarded for the article, “In Defense of the Lunatics,” on winter bicycling, by Mary Wagner,
an all-weather bike commuter.

• Most republican (note the lower-case "r"): this Publisher's Pick was awarded for “The Long View,” a column on the history of Alaska by Ross Coen, who, by reminding us of where we've been, helps us keep an eye on where we're going.

• Esteroidia: this is awarded for an item illustrating or exemplary of life in the People's Republic of Ester. This year, the Pick was “The Center of the Universe,” a letter to the editor on the geography of Ester by Average John Reeves, subscriber.

and last but not least,

• the Mike Kelly Award, presented to those who provide a much-needed civics lesson, science education, or sex advice (or all of the above): this went to “Live Free or Die,” a column by irregulars Hannah Hill & Kate Billington, who kept Lady Liberty's torch lit in dark and troubled times.